You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
