Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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