reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
