How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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