a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
