no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
