Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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