My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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