I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
