All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
