The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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