i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
