You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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