I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize