Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
