we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
