I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
