she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
