I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
