come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
