if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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