dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
