can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
