So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize