Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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