Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
