Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize