your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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