dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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