That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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