dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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