Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
