After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The best revenge is premature balding
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
