I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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