dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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