I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Sponge bath it is.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
birth control should be required to get into college
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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