dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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