...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
When did angry sex become our thing?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
