mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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