I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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