ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
