Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize