so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
