The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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