i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
