you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
