Cold hands, warm shart.
it hurts more in the daytime
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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