I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
