covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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