I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
