i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
