that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
