Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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