I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
