i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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