i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
