Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
