New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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