Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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