I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
