She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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