He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
